May 22 -

Bobb had a good, but tiring day. He was sitting up today for about 4 hours after his shower, - it tired him out a lot, but we worked on the things that the physio wanted us to and the Neurologist. Trying to get his brain to start to recognize the existance of his leg and hand again. She didn't work with him specifically today, but she will tomorrow I'm told. We had hoped today that the speech therapist would be in to see him so we could get the feeding tube out or at least have some hope that the feeding tube would come out soon. But....she never came today - so maybe tomorrow.

I was able to have a look at the CT scan today with the Doctor and the stroke was quite extensive in the right hemisphere. It was almost more than I could handle. I ask "why", Lord, why did you let it damage so much? I couldn't say anything in front of Bobb because he gets too upset. I know if he so choses he could eliminate that big black spot on the CT scan, but he may have other plans too. It was a hard day for me. Trying to accept what has happened and what is to come. "why Lord" did it have to be almost a loss of everything? How our lives specifically Bobb's have changed in an instant.

So I guess today, I am in need of encouragement and prayer and seeing a way through this maze of things that has to be done and being able to give the best to each member who is involved and keep Bobb in a determined state of mind.

You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, O Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you. .....But I cry to you for help, O Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you....I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. Excerpts from Psalm 88 and 89