Sept 30 - Screaming Me Mee's
Seems I only get this done about every 2 weeks, but hope it gives enough information for you to be able to pray more effectively. Prayer is the most essential part of this recovery process. Whether its physical progress or spiritual progress. It is an act of love as one of my loved ones told me not too long ago. So please accept our thanks for your acts of love to us through this hard event of our lives. Thanks for going through it with us.
One of my fears and I will have to face it is accepting that much of what we go through and the way Bobb is today scares a lot of people. I was reading at National Aphasia Organization an article from a woman who's husband had a stroke at 44 and left her husband with aphasia and the ensuing speech therapy etc to try and improve his ability to communicate. She talks of the friends dwindling as time went on (and she was involved in a church), mostly because communication was so difficult and "diminished capacity" is something people are just so afraid of and their "normal" lives go on. Sometimes the sin of jealousy hits me square between the eyes.
Bobb has improved a lot in his ability to communicate, but there is much that he still can't get from his brain to his mouth. If I talk to him about tax questions, or something to do with accounting he knows, but his ability to make me understand what he knows is difficult at best. We pray that eventually as his brain learns new pathways that he can find the right words to communicate his thoughts.
We were leaving the hospital the other day. He had a shirt on that I had bought him from South Western Oregon Community College (he just had a birthday), with long sleeves. He asked me as he got in the car after much thought "would you put my arms together?" (good sentence :-) (better better :-) but....
I'm confused - I'm not sure what he means. I ask him "you want me to stretch your arm?" "no". We continue our trying to figure out what he really means. I show him putting his arms together. "no!" I ask him "do you want me to pull down your sleeves?" "no" then he says something about "hot" - so then I ask "do you want me to pull up your sleeves?" "Yes!" But it wasn't until he had tried to end the conversation at least once because of frustration at not being able to find the right words. Pray for our preseverance as we continue to work through these issues. He is still getting more words together though the subject matter is sometimes missing because that is what he can't find and then we play 50 questions and sometimes we get it and sometimes it ends in defeat.
This is definitely my hardest issue. We had a lot of conversation before the stroke (as many of you know I can talk alot :-), about work especially since I have a degree the same as he does and I understood a lot of the issues though not as much knowledge as he did, about the kids, about our hobbies and God and life in general and yes, arguments - good ole arguments, and I miss it. I hate going it "alone" with him physically here. Sometimes I am not good for him because I get more frustrated than him and become a screaming me mee. I want him to get it! I want him to tell me off. I want him to complete a sentence regularly. Don't get me wrong - it is so much better than it was and I need to be praising God more on that issue not wanting more. I push, the kids push, we all push hard because stroke victims sometimes just become complacent - not lazy, but their brains aren't the same as they were before. Sometimes I am just not very good for Bobb - he told someone the other day I was wonderful, nice - but NOT true. Pray for my patience, my ability to cope and to look to the positive in it all which is hard for me because I always want more - I'm a pessimist by nature as I said before.
Progress elsewhere - walking is coming along. We are working on the muscles that will continue to improve his walk to a more natural gate, and to be able to go up stairs. Arm issues continue to plague him. He works hard and we are continuing to work against time in a panic. The flexion continues and we are working on him being able to relax when he is working on muscles groups. To get the biceps and the muscles under the forearm that control flexion in the wrist and fingers to TAKE A VACATION!!! We NEED them to take a vacation. We are now putting more weight into his arm which relaxes it and yesterday - even though I didn't see it Bobb and Lane said he saw small movement in his wrist in extention after a session of weight into the arm and working on the triceps and locking the arm. I pray its true!
LiChel is settled in school and needs to be finding work very soon or she won't be staying very long. She did not get very much financial aid so without work she won't be able to continue. She has a girl from Hong Kong as a roommate which I hope they will like each other. She at least has a lot of experience with different cultures and nationalities. She thinks she has two hard classes. Pray for her to stay focused and to get involved in church. She's been asked already to play piano with the youth band but she is hesitant to do that. She has such a gift and we told her she shouldn't hide it and share it, but she has a tendency not to stretch herself in that area. If I push she will definetly NOT do it. :-)
Pray this especially for me. I sincerely need this as prayer for me. "Always be full of joy in the Lord, I say it again--rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anyting; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for what he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Phil 4: 4-8 Please Lord I pray! I know I've used it before, but I just haven't gotten it yet, so keep praying. I can sometimes be pretty mad at God, but he knows and understands and loves me anyway.
Also pray this for us - but this is where we get very confused because we don't know where this is taking us. "For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will contiinue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ." Phil 1:20-22a What is this "more fruitful work for Christ"? Pray for us to find HIS direction and not our own through it all.
One of my fears and I will have to face it is accepting that much of what we go through and the way Bobb is today scares a lot of people. I was reading at National Aphasia Organization an article from a woman who's husband had a stroke at 44 and left her husband with aphasia and the ensuing speech therapy etc to try and improve his ability to communicate. She talks of the friends dwindling as time went on (and she was involved in a church), mostly because communication was so difficult and "diminished capacity" is something people are just so afraid of and their "normal" lives go on. Sometimes the sin of jealousy hits me square between the eyes.
Bobb has improved a lot in his ability to communicate, but there is much that he still can't get from his brain to his mouth. If I talk to him about tax questions, or something to do with accounting he knows, but his ability to make me understand what he knows is difficult at best. We pray that eventually as his brain learns new pathways that he can find the right words to communicate his thoughts.
We were leaving the hospital the other day. He had a shirt on that I had bought him from South Western Oregon Community College (he just had a birthday), with long sleeves. He asked me as he got in the car after much thought "would you put my arms together?" (good sentence :-) (better better :-) but....
I'm confused - I'm not sure what he means. I ask him "you want me to stretch your arm?" "no". We continue our trying to figure out what he really means. I show him putting his arms together. "no!" I ask him "do you want me to pull down your sleeves?" "no" then he says something about "hot" - so then I ask "do you want me to pull up your sleeves?" "Yes!" But it wasn't until he had tried to end the conversation at least once because of frustration at not being able to find the right words. Pray for our preseverance as we continue to work through these issues. He is still getting more words together though the subject matter is sometimes missing because that is what he can't find and then we play 50 questions and sometimes we get it and sometimes it ends in defeat.
This is definitely my hardest issue. We had a lot of conversation before the stroke (as many of you know I can talk alot :-), about work especially since I have a degree the same as he does and I understood a lot of the issues though not as much knowledge as he did, about the kids, about our hobbies and God and life in general and yes, arguments - good ole arguments, and I miss it. I hate going it "alone" with him physically here. Sometimes I am not good for him because I get more frustrated than him and become a screaming me mee. I want him to get it! I want him to tell me off. I want him to complete a sentence regularly. Don't get me wrong - it is so much better than it was and I need to be praising God more on that issue not wanting more. I push, the kids push, we all push hard because stroke victims sometimes just become complacent - not lazy, but their brains aren't the same as they were before. Sometimes I am just not very good for Bobb - he told someone the other day I was wonderful, nice - but NOT true. Pray for my patience, my ability to cope and to look to the positive in it all which is hard for me because I always want more - I'm a pessimist by nature as I said before.
Progress elsewhere - walking is coming along. We are working on the muscles that will continue to improve his walk to a more natural gate, and to be able to go up stairs. Arm issues continue to plague him. He works hard and we are continuing to work against time in a panic. The flexion continues and we are working on him being able to relax when he is working on muscles groups. To get the biceps and the muscles under the forearm that control flexion in the wrist and fingers to TAKE A VACATION!!! We NEED them to take a vacation. We are now putting more weight into his arm which relaxes it and yesterday - even though I didn't see it Bobb and Lane said he saw small movement in his wrist in extention after a session of weight into the arm and working on the triceps and locking the arm. I pray its true!
LiChel is settled in school and needs to be finding work very soon or she won't be staying very long. She did not get very much financial aid so without work she won't be able to continue. She has a girl from Hong Kong as a roommate which I hope they will like each other. She at least has a lot of experience with different cultures and nationalities. She thinks she has two hard classes. Pray for her to stay focused and to get involved in church. She's been asked already to play piano with the youth band but she is hesitant to do that. She has such a gift and we told her she shouldn't hide it and share it, but she has a tendency not to stretch herself in that area. If I push she will definetly NOT do it. :-)
Pray this especially for me. I sincerely need this as prayer for me. "Always be full of joy in the Lord, I say it again--rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anyting; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for what he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Phil 4: 4-8 Please Lord I pray! I know I've used it before, but I just haven't gotten it yet, so keep praying. I can sometimes be pretty mad at God, but he knows and understands and loves me anyway.
Also pray this for us - but this is where we get very confused because we don't know where this is taking us. "For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will contiinue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ." Phil 1:20-22a What is this "more fruitful work for Christ"? Pray for us to find HIS direction and not our own through it all.
posted by Bobb & Kayleen at
9:13 AM
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