May 31 Physio

Bobb worked hard today - he was at physio this morning and worked some of his muscles he hasn't used for about 2 weeks :-) The physio says he does have use of his hip and bottom muscles in the left side though weak. So with some hard work, this is where they will begin to develop some movement for him in his left leg. Still no movement other than when he yawns and its a unconscious contraction of his left arm. His balance is better as he sits and he can reach better on his left side - though with the neglect and vision deficits he has to learn to scan.

He is doing better on analysing the pictures that we have been working on - so we are ready to move on to some more - when we see speech therapist again :-) He still finds it hard to register a command and implement it. He's trying to communicate more, but we can have some serious guessing games because what he thinks is coming out are words he isn't meaning. His brain goes and trys to find the word and its no longer there and picks out something that seems right. He told me today he is determined and he knows its going to be hard work. He's very right! It seem insurmountable some days, but we just need to take one day at a time. Only with all of you can we see it through with the Lord's help! Bobb today told me that he wished it never happened - and those are pretty close to his own words. It was a tough thing for him to get across. We all wish it had never happened, but we must move forward without bitterness and know that the Lord is in control. Help us Lord - let us shelter under your wings.

The doctor has faxed the insurance evac and told them he can be moved any time, so we are waiting for them to tell us times and dates, but I still need to know so I can get Lane on the way here. Please pray that we will hear soon! He can't go home until Lane gets here.

I have been blessed beyond words in so many ways. I am a new woman because of one generous person who gave sacrificially and I got a new hair cut and color today. Thankfully Bobb liked it too :-)

We are blessed with friends and family who have been such wonderful support in so many ways.

Being away from the girls is weighing heavily, but we know it can't be helped. They are doing fine thanks to the loving care of so many people. We pray for them as they wrap up the school year. Pray for Lenise who is struggling with the fact we are going back to the U.S. Its hard for her to believe it. Pray for her as she adapts to this new situation and that she will have good support when we get to the U.S.

.....And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5: ...2-5 (though I can't say I'm rejoicing so well right now and neither is Bobb, we are trying to move up the mountain one day at a time - again Thank you all!) Kayleen

May 30 The drop of a hat

I want to tell all of you how much we cherish your prayers for Bobb. I don't think I would be surviving if it wasn't that you all are praying for us.

My emotions sometimes change at the drop of a hat. When I think I have my act together and I've got this under control something will happen and I'm a basket case again :-) Like yesterday. The doctor and I did not see eye to eye and he got an earful from me and I'm trying to be a witness to one of the nurses - not a very good witness mind you. She's been there both times I've lost it at the hospital. UUUGH!

His brother Vearl called today and he enjoys talking to people - and doesn't seem to mind when he can't get his words out or the answers are wrong. He knows you care!

Thank you also for all the e-mails and cards of encouragement. It makes our day. I take them to the hospital and read them to Bobb and we thank the Lord for each of you! What a blessing!

Thank you that in Your gracious plan to bless and use me, You've allowed me to go through hard times, through trials that many people go through in this fallen world. How glad I am that You're so good at reaching down and making something beautiful out of even the worst situations. Excerpt from 31 days of Praise by Ruth Myers Day 11

May 29

Today, the doctors made Bobb stand up or helped him stand up - he was so happy to be on his own two feet. He's very wobbly and needed support, but you should have seen his face :-)

He is also on to soft foods, not pureed junk. That was good too.

We continue to work on the language learning from the speech therapist and the Occupational Therapist will be there tomorrow to evaluate him.

I am pushing hard to get him down to the rehab ward. Please pray with me that they will find room for him soon while we wait for the doctors and evac insurance to decide when he will fly back to the U.S.

There are still so many details to work out. I am thankful to Liz for helping me sort through some of that, but because of Memorial Day weekend in the U.S. things are slow for the next few days.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Prov. 3: 5-6

May 29 - 30th Reunion

Sorry I didn't get this written before the reunion. My internet card ran out and the office was closed so I couldn't get more time.

Anyway greetings to the class of 1976 - now that tells everyone else how old I am :-) I am writing from beautiful tropical Cairns (pronounced "cans") Australia. I wish it was under different circumstances without Bobb being in the hospital. Each day brings improvement. Slowly. He has a long recovery ahead of him. There is much to relearn. I hope you all have a great day together and wish we could have been there. Know we were there in spirit. See you later. If anyone would like to e-mail we are at bobb_lewis@sil.org

We had a nice weekend. We were able to go outside several times away from the 4 walls of the hospital room. We have begun the word and recognition games the speech therapist has given. Some are hard for him, and others she thought would be hard are not. He has a hard time with the concept of "pointing" to something. He'd rather use words - even if the pathway to the word in his head is missing. Patients and perseverance is what we need now and there is going to be many a frustrating moment when we won't communicate very well.

God has given us a task, let us be good witnesses in it - particularly me as I watch him struggle with some things that seem so basic yet are so hard. We just didn't think about it when we were little.

He is the best of husbands - kind, considerate, loving, giving. May I be able to give to him as much as he has given to me over the years. He has spoilt me rotten! He continues to love abundantly and for that I am deeply thankful.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes. Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you can by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

May 27 Movement

Bobb had a lot of pain this afternoon, but....it was for an exciting thing today. His left leg is moving! So nerves reactivating? But it was a very wonderful thing today!

Then, he made me close the curtains then he got all ready and told me to help him transfer to the bed. I'm like "I can't Bobb, we might have a major fall to the floor and then we will both be in trouble" He's like - "power" and I'm saying "yes you always had a lot of power" and then he's saying "less" So anyway, we had a round of it trying to convince him I was not going to help him transfer to the bed. I hope physio is around this week so they can do some more with him, he's rearing to go :-)

We also went outside the hospital today, which was a nice change.

Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. Psalm 96:1-3 (well Bobb and I won't actually sing - but our hearts will go in song :-)

God is AWESOME!

May 25-26 What the Doctor's Say

Bobb was able to go down to the rehab unit today for some exercise. Sitting up and reaching for things to see how his balance is. It WAS SO NICE TO GET OUT OF UPSTAIRS for even a little while. The physio said that I could take him outside now if I wanted to. That will make for a nice change from the hospital room.

Each day brings more vocabulary, but as the speech therapist said when he tries to respond his brain goes back to areas that used to hold information and tries to find the word, it might be gone, so it goes trying to find it and may pick up something similar, but not the right word. So communication will continue to be a problem until we get new pathways to the words working again. She has given us games and exercises that we can work on and it gives us something to do. Nothing is instant and he is working hard. He sometimes gets out exactly what he wants to say and for that we are happy, though its only in about 3 words before things go all funny.

A friend has come down from Ukarumpa to help me sort through the things with the evac insurance to get him home. It always goes slower than I think it should and filling out forms.... So she is here to help in any way she can.

It continues to be an up and down battle for me. Some days I'm doing ok and others I'm just not doing so good. Today was one of those and poor Bobb knew I was upset. But, I had read the report that the doctors sent to the insurance agency. It talked of things they think he will never do again. It is so hard. I wish I knew what God has in store. I want miracles and want to ask, but am afraid the answer may be no. If you have faith as large as a mustard seed you can move mountains. Is my faith to small? I need to take one day at a time.

When the doctors come in I feel they only see him as the black spot on the CT scan. In my evil heart I would like the doctor to be on the hospital bed and see what it is like to lose everything, to be that person, so they would see them as more than the medical tests. I'm not sure in their arrogance that they would understand a miracle. Not every doctor is like that, but today I guess I was feeling vindictive and frustrated. Lord forgive me.

In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus 1 Thess. 9:18

Pic of mom and dad

Hi everyone,

Mom asked me to post this. Continue to pray.

25 May - Reading

The speech therapist came in today to evaluate Bobb again on his ability to eat and several other things like comprehension.

The one thing that was new today is that we learned he can read and recognize some pictures. We talked about how we can improve his comprehension and start to expand his vocabulary from what he lost. It gave us some things to do when we are sitting in the chair for hours trying to figure out what to do :-)

He still fatigues easily, but is working hard I think. I was encouraged today as we worked with him. Sometimes it is frustrating to me that he is going to have to relearn so much, but there is more than I thought come back and increases everyday.

We had an arguement today about whether I was his wife or not and it brought a new revelation of one piece that got destroyed and give you an example of some of what he is trying to overcome. We were reading through a communication board. One line has pictures and underneath them are the words husband, wife, girl, boy. We get to this line and I state to him "I am your wife" He says "NO!" of course my feelings are hurt :-), I said "YES! I am your wife" He says emphatically "NO" "BOY" I think, I'm like thats not possible. We continue to argue about it and he finally says "whatever", He's convinced, I think, that I am not his wife. Then I get to thinking about the context of what we are talking about and why would he say "boy". Somehow it is dawning on me that he has the pronouns confused. I then say "you are my wife" and he says "YES!" He only understands it from his perspective. I know I'm not an expert. So I am left thinking - how do kids learning language understand that concept of me, verses you, and who the speaker is? Its something to ask the speech therapist next time we see her.

The frustrating part of my day was a new lady in a bed across from Bobb had a visit from Dr. Archer today. She has had what is called TSA(tia)?(mini strokes) which is a warning for impending stroke. She smokes, drinks, has high blood pressure, won't take her pills, won't stop smoking because she gets a headache and she gets a warning, and Bobb has none of those vises and when the Echo came back they saw no evidence of arterial stenosis that would trigger a stroke. Sometimes I'm like my youngest daughter who says - this couldn't possibly happen to our family, couldn't happen to MY dad, "what was God doing". It doesn't seem fair somehow, but we know the Lord is in control and each day brings a bit more peace that passes all understanding - though there are still tears sometimes in the night.

May you all be blessed for your prayers that have gone up for us on our behalf! We have been blessed!
The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom(what) shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom(what) shall I be afraid? (parenthesis mine) Psalm 27:1

25 May - Reading

The speech therapist came in today to evaluate Bobb again on his ability to eat and several other things like comprehension.

The one thing that was new today is that we learned he can read and recognize some pictures. We talked about how we can improve his comprehension and start to expand his vocabulary from what he lost. It gave us some things to do when we are sitting in the chair for hours trying to figure out what to do :-)

He still fatigues easily, but is working hard I think. I was encouraged today as we worked with him. Sometimes it is frustrating to me that he is going to have to relearn so much, but there is more than I thought come back and increases everyday.

We had an arguement today about whether I was his wife or not and it brought a new revelation of one piece that got destroyed and give you an example of some of what he is trying to overcome. We were reading through a communication board. One line has pictures and underneath them are the words husband, wife, girl, boy. We get to this line and I state to him "I am your wife" He says "NO!" of course my feelings are hurt :-), I said "YES! I am your wife" He says emphatically "NO" "BOY" I think, I'm like thats not possible. We continue to argue about it and he finally says "whatever", He's convinced, I think, that I am not his wife. Then I get to thinking about the context of what we are talking about and why would he say "boy". Somehow it is dawning on me that he has the pronouns confused. I then say "you are my wife" and he says "YES!" He only understands it from his perspective. I know I'm not an expert. So I am left thinking - how do kids learning language understand that concept of me, verses you, and who the speaker is? Its something to ask the speech therapist next time we see her.

The frustrating part of my day was a new lady in a bed across from Bobb had a visit from Dr. Archer today. She has had what is called TSA(tia)?(mini strokes) which is a warning for impending stroke. She smokes, drinks, has high blood pressure, won't take her pills, won't stop smoking because she gets a headache and she gets a warning, and Bobb has none of those vises and when the Echo came back they saw no evidence of arterial stenosis that would trigger a stroke. Sometimes I'm like my youngest daughter who says - this couldn't possibly happen to our family, couldn't happen to MY dad, "what was God doing". It doesn't seem fair somehow, but we know the Lord is in control and each day brings a bit more peace that passes all understanding - though there are still tears sometimes in the night.

May you all be blessed for your prayers that have gone up for us on our behalf! We have been blessed!
The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom(what) shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom(what) shall I be afraid? (parenthesis mine) Psalm 27:1

24 May - A more optimistic day :-)

Bobb was more alert today, wide-eyed and bushy tailed (well kinda :-) We had a very pleasant day together. He'd had the Echocardiogram today. Was able to express some personal needs today which helped his stomach and how he felt a lot. And we talked to the doctor about when he saw Bobb able to be moved and what he wanted to see in his transportation. He will probably be moved down to rehab in about a week and then able to fly home in two weeks. The insurance company will handle all that from what I understand. We are praying that funds come in so Lane can come and help me with his dad and do some other things - possibly bring the girls home. The final decisions haven't exactly been made yet.

We haven't seen the physio for almost a week now - which I expressed to Dr. Archer so I hope we see her tomorrow so we can do whatever we need to begin to help him develop what he needs.

Bobb's attitude is good except for the food - he says "yuck" a lot. The dr was going to add additional antidepressants but when he looked at Bobb and saw that he smiled and was pleasant he decided to leave him on a low dose. Another friend who saw him yesterday that she would continue to pray that he kept his sweet spirit. He prayed before his meal tonight and prayed again out loud when I left this evening and I finish the prayer. I understood "Father" and "Amen", but that was enough. I told him all was well because his kisser still worked :-) He laughed and gave me another kiss.

I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me (Bobb), from the depths of the grave. Psalm 86:12-13

23 May - He is eating :-)

The feeding tube is out! He pulled it out for about the fourth time last night and the speech therapist came and evaluated him and said we'd have a one day trial. He wouldn't eat much for lunch, but dinner he did better. He is quite expressive about his dislike of the food :-) He is feeding himself with his right hand, and doing the grooming things. He is much more alert than the day before.

Finally got someone to talk to me about his condition and what possibilities are ahead. I was really tired of "we don't know" She said well we don't want to make promises that won't happen. I tried to tell her I just needed some generalized something. She said everyone's brain is different. She didn't want me to get the impression that after that large a stroke he'd be what he was before - sometimes I think medical personnel just think you are just plain stupid or that normal people can't face reality. God can do more than they think, or he can chose to leave it to the "norms" They finally gave me a pamphlet of information that they should have given me almost a week ago. It helped to explain a lot. She said it would be a long haul. I told her I knew that already. That nothing was going to be instant. But what are the possibilities? We will see what God decides to do with Bobb's brain and working around the damage. As far as his speech goes - it will be slow going - new neuron pathways will need to be developed. He has both expressive dysfacia and receptive dysfacia. We will have to work on his left-side neglect. We don't know if he'll recover his left visual field deficit. In the end we don't know what he can recover - and there is always hope and a lot of hard work ahead.

We continue to need your prayers from moment to moment. He hasn't lost his faith in the Living Lord, of that I'm sure.

Thank you all for praying! We continue to cherish everyone!

May 22 -

Bobb had a good, but tiring day. He was sitting up today for about 4 hours after his shower, - it tired him out a lot, but we worked on the things that the physio wanted us to and the Neurologist. Trying to get his brain to start to recognize the existance of his leg and hand again. She didn't work with him specifically today, but she will tomorrow I'm told. We had hoped today that the speech therapist would be in to see him so we could get the feeding tube out or at least have some hope that the feeding tube would come out soon. But....she never came today - so maybe tomorrow.

I was able to have a look at the CT scan today with the Doctor and the stroke was quite extensive in the right hemisphere. It was almost more than I could handle. I ask "why", Lord, why did you let it damage so much? I couldn't say anything in front of Bobb because he gets too upset. I know if he so choses he could eliminate that big black spot on the CT scan, but he may have other plans too. It was a hard day for me. Trying to accept what has happened and what is to come. "why Lord" did it have to be almost a loss of everything? How our lives specifically Bobb's have changed in an instant.

So I guess today, I am in need of encouragement and prayer and seeing a way through this maze of things that has to be done and being able to give the best to each member who is involved and keep Bobb in a determined state of mind.

You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, O Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you. .....But I cry to you for help, O Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you....I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. Excerpts from Psalm 88 and 89

May 21 - Cairns Base Hospital

Today Bobb was pleased because he got phone calls from both his brother and his parents. He responded and was happy to hear from them. Keep up the phone calls - he enjoys hearing from everyone. The phone # is (Australian Country Code) then 7 4040 7981

He is struggling with the feeding tube - it is really irritating his throat. We are praying that early this next week that when the speech therapist comes that she feels he can eat enough so we can get the feeding tube removed. His stomach has also been hurting him considerably.

He is doing well, though he has periods of depression. Understandable, but God continues to encourage him each day.

There isn't a whole lot more news today other than some couples from the local AOG church came and visited and prayed with him again today, and he always appreciates that. I also took in the computer and read him e-mails that people had sent. He was quite emotional and overwhelmed by the caring and prayers being sent out for him.

We are working on his attention span and vision field deficits on the left side and they seem to be getting a little better too.

I have gotten a book we can read and some one also brought in He Still Moves Stones by Max Lucado that we will read together too.

As Bobb said as he hung up the phone with his brother today "thats all folks!"
Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy, IN the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me. Psalm 86:6-7

May 20 - Cairns, Australia

Every day brings new hope for Bobb's recovery. Each day he is saying and doing more though still confused sometimes. He has a long recovery ahead of him. The neurologist came today and was more optimistic at what he was seeing in Bobb. I still see more that is going on than the doctor so some of his diagnosis I don't agree with and think Bobb is further than the doctor thinks he is in some areas. There is some movement in his left leg now - though tiny its more than he had. He understands a lot of what he hears - but processing information is still hard. He had a comb in his hand and doesn't know what to do with it or he has a wash rag in his hand and doesn't know what to do with it. He is making more effort to speak all the time and gets unhappy when I don't understand :-) The neurologist during the discussion said that part of the reason Bobb is "groggy" is that he is depressed - I've known it for some time, but it wasn't because he was sleeping, because of his reaction to some other things. So they are putting him on antidepressants that are used for Stroke Victims. Lance called today and his sister Carmen at the hospital and I let them both speak to him. He knew both of them and tried responding to them. It also put him in tears, but the doctor had tried to tell me that a lot of the things that I thought he was understanding was because his "yes" and "no" answers were because he was taking visual cues from me. The telephone has no visual cues. He had a shower and a sit in the chair today - so he was out of the bed twice today - thanks to the magic of the hoist and the dedication of the nurses - it isn't easy :-)
I always lay on Bobb's chest and let him hug me and rub my back before I leave him in the evening. Tonight I asked him to pray - I told him that even though I might not know specifically what he was saying that God did. He prayed for us both - I didn't understand one word, until he got to Amen - BUT HE PRAYED!! Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. Psalm 77:13-14

1st update post 5/18/06

This is Lance here with the first post. I talked to mom briefly this morning and she has finally gotten a chance to talk to the stroke specialist. The prognosis he gave was not very good but it is possible that dad was unresponsive while he was there. Not much else to update everyone on but remember to continue to glorify God, and if healing dad would bring glory to him, that he would do so. Love to everyone