August 30 Are we having fun yet?

It has been awhile since I've written on this - a lot has happened since I last wrote. So many ups and downs and through it all God is here, I just wish I'd let Him in more and maybe some things wouldn't seem quite so hard.

Last week as we were traveling home from Walla Walla we were heading up the first major hill to go over the mountain between Walla Walla and our home. As we were getting well started, I noticed that the heat guage was over the top - like past the H and past all the red! I'm like I guess I'd better pull over because this isn't going to work and the engine was making some funny noises - the first thing that alerted me to there might be a problem and I maybe needed to check my gauges. Bobb knew enough to tell me not to turn off the engine - that was easy enough "should I turn off the car?" his reply, "no" :-) I was still in cell phone heaven at that time not in a dead zone so I called my dad and asked him what I should do. He told me the same thing "don't turn off the engine yet." So I didn't and they started on the 2 hour trip to come and get us. So there we are stuck on the side of the road waiting.

The car that we drive is a car we picked up last furlough from Arizona and has run wonderfully for the year we was home. We allowed Lane to use it for a period of time while we were overseas and he put it in the ditch. Which he had to put in new power steering and a new bumper (though something isn't put on right there either), The air bags have been deployed and we have had to tape them behind their openings and as a consequence I don't have a usable horn. The front right side of the car is bashed and one of the lights is broken. There are permanent barb wire markes up the hood and windows. The two back windows are pulled together with bailing twine because both of the latches to those two windows is broken (blown when the airbags deployed - It at least kept the kids inside safe) and that is what keeps them closed. Since I've been home, we've replaced tires, changed the oil and filters, the water pump, and front brake pads. Still need body work, figure out what to do about the air bags (we are looking into it) and back brake pads. We drive over 400 miles a week to go to therapy. Please pray with us that I will have wisdom about what to do about transportation. That I will know if I need to buy something different or when. God knows these details that are all meshed into a million other decisions as I wait on the final damage (if there is ever a final damage) to the medical bills and the insurance :-) Anyway back to the story.

My parents arrived and dad looked at the water (which I already had too) and then pounded in a couple of places (if I'd only known where to pound :-) which got the temperature guage unstuck and we drove on home together and Lane replaced the temperature gauge for us the next day.

But....while we were sitting there those two hours Bobb was real touchy and fidgity but he didn't ever complain. When we got home at 10:00 p.m. I found out why he was so fidgity and had to call a doctor to look at him, which then brought about a very painful procedure that had to be done the next day. The day never seemed to end.

This week we have been in Walla Walla more days than normal because Bobb has had to have additional medical tests. The first one - checking on his coratid arteries came out fine. Today however, they stuck a tube down his throat and looked at his heart. He has a hole in his heart! Which they now say let a blood clot get through and that is where the stroke came from. How they know his blood had a clot when there has never been any other problems I don't know. We hopefully will find out tomorrow, but he now has to go on Cumadin (rat poison :-() immediately.

The doctor also says we have to either go to OHSU (Portland,OR), or Sacred Heart (Spokane) to see some cardiologist (the one here isn't specialist enough I guess). Why? we won't know until tomorrow. Its been a bad day!

That is after yesterday when the OT that specializes in arm and hand thought there was some "hopeful" signs. No finger movement or wrist movement ----yet. We can only pray and after today I really want to ask like scripture says in Matthew. We have only to ask - we need something positive - some hope. (I don't have my bible down here to quote it correctly) - we are in a motel tonight to celebrate our 29 years of marriage - On August 27th!!! :-) Like I've said earlier he's been a wonderful husband - but his wife has always needed work :-) Thats what God is working on me. I need a better servant heart :-)
Love to you all
Kayleen

August 17 - Plugging Away

Sorry its been a while since I updated the blog - but we cherish each of you who take the time to come and look and pray for our needs which are always many and varied!

We continue to travel to Walla Walla for appointments on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday's. The staff at St. Mary's is excellent and dedicated to seeing the best outcome.

With the bathroom renovation still going on (though it is closer to being finished :-), its been extremely difficult to keep up all the things that need to be kept up with. Laramie ended up paying extra because he needed information from me to finish his registration and had to reregister since we didn't meet the deadline. UUUGH. Insurance wants information, Social Security wants information, and an unlimited amount of other things seem to be piling up that I just can't seem to get too. We work from early in the morning whether its traveling, or doing therapy, or renovations until 7 or 8 o'clock at night and by then I'm so exhausted I can hardly manage. To just think about sitting at the computer is more than I have been able to handle - as you all have noticed. Some days I am doing good, optomistic and ready to face the world. The Lord is walking beside us and staying close, and other days, everything seems beyond my control, emotional, and the Lord far away and a pitying Kayleen is the only thing that can be found :-) I know He knows my every emotion, my every failure, and when I pass mustard, and He is ok with who and how I am, though He is in the business of perfecting me. I can't speak for Bobb, but I can for me.

Bobb continues to have a good attitude, now if his wife would be more upbeat he'd probably do a whole lot better.

We had a good visit with Laramie this past week and praise the Lord for the gifts that made that possible. I think it helped Laramie understand how things are and how better to pray and help. He spent much of the week under the house working on leveling it. It was a bit scary at times, but he kept plugging away. He also came to two days of therapy and saw first hand what was going on in therapy and whether it might be something he might enjoy doing as a profession. I believe his conclusion was yes.

Bobb slowly progresses and its been nice to hear some of the therapists confirm that even though we see nothing dramatic from the outside, muscles are starting little responses and hopefully they can be built upon (pray so - please), and his pronouns are getting better, and he has things to his advantage, though its so slow and painful (he repeats what you ask him, he can read (albiet very slowly), and a willingsness to keep trying), The doctor we saw today also gave us some suggestions on how to build on some of his other skills. The pool therapy has been something he really enjoys, now if we could find some zipper water socks that will fit over his afo so we don't have to wear his $180 dollar shoes on the pool deck and have them get wet every time we are there, because he has to put his wet afo and feet back in them.

We are thankful to Neil and Diane for allowing us to live in their home over the last several weeks. I think our group took over a bit, but they have been gracious and kind through it all.

And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 Pray for me to be reminded of this every day and that I will not go off into other pathways that are not at all productive.

Oh you all are such a blessing!

August 3 2006-committments

Well one week has gone by since Bobb was released from the hospital. We have been staying with friends for a while as the house is still not finished. Everyone is working hard, but people have other things to do also including us :-)

During that week Bobb has fallen twice -(last weekend). He has been more under control since, but is more sure of his abilities than he should be. He has made great strides and wants independence, and thats what the rest of us want too, but if he breaks something then we are back to square one. And it isn't always easy to get him off the floor :-)

To explain the house. Its an old farmhouse and its been around for a while. While they were working on one wall they took out newspapers from 1886. So much of the remodel is from almost scratch - to get proper insulation in, walls, etc. It belongs to my Dad and Mom and most things have to go through them and my father has done most of the work for personal reasons, but he also runs a ranch so there are other obligations that have had to be done in the process. I am working on the tiling as of yesterday and hope to get more done tomorrow. We will also need to get a safe path through some of the rest of the remodel so he can get to the bathroom.

There are others who we are VERY, VERY, thankful too, for funds and physical labor to build a deck and ramp so Bobb could even get into the house in the first place.

Today was Bobb's first day in water therapy and it was a very good session. They were able to get muscles they hadn't been able to get active response for in the water - such as his hamstrings. That will help in building the muscles that loosens your knee so you can bend your lower leg to walk.

We use the drive to work on speech therapy, language learning (scripture memorization - slow, slow :-) etc.

I also learned this week, that the insurance company Aetna that Wycliffe will use to administer our insurance after October 1 only has preferred providers in Walla Walla, there are NONE in Union, or Wallowa County - so they are the closest anyway. I had hoped to at least be able to move some of the physical therapy to our local hospital, but they are not in the Aetna network :-(

So as you can see we are still in need of prayer. I still am not sleeping well. So I am tired. That is NOT helpful. I am cranky! Bobb continues to work hard, even though progress for me is painfully slow, he continues on and on.

The daily living will be the hardest and learning to develop "normal" patterns that work for us.

I know God has a plan for this and we have the hope that is in us to lean on.

Thank you all who take the time to read my ramblings and pray so ernestly for us.

For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen Rom 11:36.

I just don't feel very much like I'm presenting any glory for God here, just frustrations. Pray for me and for Bobb and for the girls and especially for Lane who is lost. Praise that Laramie will be here for a week to see his Dad!!!! Only through the good gifts of the Father in heaven.